Friday, April 8, 2011

The Other Side


Inside is nothing but total darkness. You see nothing but fear enclosing you in. You feel nothing but sorrow and pain. You sense nothing but defeat.

You remain motionless. Seeking. Yet frightened.

You open your eyes wide. And you see that tiny spark you have never seen before. As you move closer, you begin to sense comfort. You begin to see freedom. You sense hope.

Then you realize you’ve been trapped all your life. You realize you’ve never seen light before because you’ve been well acquainted with darkness. But from where you are, it is leading you.

The question is… are you allowing it to take you to the other side?

Under the Scorching Heat

Couldn’t open my eyes. Couldn’t get off the bed. Still I was able to text my boss: Ma’am, can I go half day? My body’s sore. As soon as I read ok, I was dead. Came back to life at around 9:30. In between, I woke twice. One in my dream where I thought I was already prepping for work. Next was the real one where I was surprised that I was still asleep the whole time! Talk about dreaming in your dream. Weird.


Gotta go to work! So I hurried.

Turned my IPod on, singing praise songs in my head. Sometimes I do get strong urge to sing out loud and lift my hands. Phew! Grateful I still get some form of restraint.

Nearing my drop-off point.

Saw the scorching heat even with my shades on. I simply said… “Lord, it's hot…” By the time I got off the jeep, the sky was already covered with clouds.

I smiled at the extreme sweetness of God.

I don’t want to be overly spiritual on stuffs, but as I walked, technically covered from the heat of the sun, I felt like God is telling me that…

under intense circumstances in life, He will cover me…

under extreme troubles trapping me in, He will protect me…

under impossibilities, he will wrap me with his love…

under all difficulties, he will hide me under his wings.

Ah, how sweet it is to be loved like that!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thursdays Were Never the Same Again

I cannot say I’ve shared my entire life with him. We’ve been together for only 2 years. As reserved and guarded as I am, I opened up to him very seldom. If I remember it right, I didn’t even like him that much when I first saw him.

I can no longer recall how I started to warm up with him. Maybe because we spent too many Thursdays together in Starbucks or Hungry Hippo or Mister Donut. Um, well, not really in Starbucks. We’re kuripot.

Then I just found myself always looking forward to those Thursdays. Maybe we always ended up laughing our hearts out, but mind you, we still got things done! And it was when I realized that sharing the same vision with the same passion with the same people makes the bond much stronger than I expected.

That was the beginning… And the little child in me thought it would always be that way. Thursdays spent together. Working plans out together. Sharing joy and victory together. I was not prepared for sudden shift on things.

True, plans were accomplished. And along with it new people were met. New tasks needed to be worked on. Our little world suddenly became wide. And of course it was a thrill. We’ve always wanted that.

Except for the fact that Thursdays were never the same again.

When I learned that he was getting married, I cried. I, myself, couldn’t believe that. I felt like I was losing a dear brother. And I thought: Is it going to be like this with all the people I love? Man, was that heartbreakingly scary!
But after some time inside that shell, I realized some things are not meant to stay the same forever. Okay, it’s not like a new concept. I’ve known of that before and have heard of it countless times, alright? But sometimes, things just make sense to you for the first time and you appreciate it in a unique way.

And with that, perspective changed. Thursdays may still never be the same, but changed Thursdays is actually a lovely thing. More room to grow. More people to share them with. More laughter. More life. More love.

And did I just say I felt like losing a brother? Nah. Now, I am just thrilled to have gained a new sister.