Wednesday, January 14, 2009

When it isn't about you this time

Who isn't thinking of becoming successful, being happy or getting the best in this life?

Do we not wake up in the morning preoccupied on running our life and making the most of it?

Do we not sometimes look at people thinking what can we possibly get from this person? Is he an asset or liability to my race?

Or even as we walk the streets, do we not think that all eyes are on us and we're being watched by the world?

Do we not want to get recognition for every little thing that we do? Do we not mimic a child saying "hey dad! watch me! watch what i can do!"

Talk about being self-absorbed.

We are so consumed by ourselves that we sometimes think that the world has to stop and care for us, to listen and give us what we want.

Do we not like those people or guys (he he sorry) who just love to talk about their curriculum vitae and enumerate all their accomplishments, then give you 5 seconds to comment an "ah" or "ok" or maybe applaud? then continue rambling?

The 'me-attitude' is always not the best option.

In life, I think the more we focus on ourselves, the more we find that too much is lacking. Sometimes, when we shift our focus from ourselves, to what we can do for others, it's where we find true fulfillment.

I've read a book once saying our own comfort comes when we give comfort to others. Financial sufficiency comes from sparing some of our own for others. It's hard to understand but it works.

Most of the time, there are far greater things in this world than our own. And since we are concentrated with our own little world, we neglect to recognize our responsibility with other people and yes I believe we have.

Sometimes, it isn't just about us anymore.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

When two people don't seem to match

I’m not really fond of meddling with other people’s business but it doesn’t mean I can’t have my own opinion about their lives. But don’t worry, I don’t go straight in front of them and tell them “hey your life sucks!” I got my own life to worry about.

It just so happened that I have this very dear friend and I cannot really figure out how she turned out to be madly in love with this guy. I thought she was just fond of the feeling of being with someone but would soon lose interest. But I realized they’ve been together for quite a while now! Where’s the breakup I’ve been waiting for?

You may think I’m cruel for wanting them to break up, or I’m just one bitter person who can’t find her own happiness. Maybe I am or I just want to have a partner in this world of singlehood. But can it be possible that I want the best guy for her? Ha ha sounds very mommy-ish!

My point is, they just don’t seem to match. I think my friend is too smart, pretty and way too talented. She has this amazing confidence and ability to make people give her a second look and hear what she has to say. (I’m so jealous!)

Then one night she just came to me with all sparkly eyes saying she may have found the one! The one? Him? Seriously???

Yeah, seriously.

I’m not here to demean other people. Now I’m feeling guilty. I just can’t really understand why such an exceptional lady would fall in love with someone…ordinary.

She could’ve found someone she can also have a good laugh with, someone who would also love her despite her immaturities, someone who would also make sense…but better.

Don’t I really like him that much? Not really… I’m just wondering could he really be the right one for her?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

When you regret sending a message

3 nights ago I sent a message to an old friend in Australia. We haven't talked for months now and I just wondered what could be wrong in sending a hi message.

Months ago I knew that very moment would come that's why I deleted everything that could possibly tempt me to get in touch with him- email addresses, phone numbers, home address (if I get too crazy and fly off to Australia). I thought I was wise enough then. But I am more clever/stupid now. I found my old phone where I stored and probably intentionally forgot to delete those info about him. Okay, I'll spare you the drama. I might regret this even more.

So, unfortunately, I got his number and sent him a text message. Not that I expected a reply. (Who am I kidding?) But hey, he could've been polite enough to text me back after he has dumped me in exchange for his trip to Japan. That was so unforgivable and his conscience should be bugging him for his insensitivity, but that too was ineffective. And so even before the year ended, I did an awful thing for even bothering to ask how he was doing. I should quit reading that book saying I have to get in touch with the person that pops in my head. Yes, there is such a book. And yes, I'm making it as an excuse.

It was really nothing and I can't believe that after more than a year of that broken promise, I would still create a big fuss out of it. And it is much more foolish to post it here.

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