Tuesday, February 14, 2012

15-Minute Walk on Valentine's Day

I have very few Valentine's day memories. Even when I was in a relationship, I can barely remember what really happened. For the longest time, Valentine's day meant nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. But for the first time in my 28 years, I think I am going to have something concrete to remember.

Like the previous years, I had no plans for today except that. I planned to cook for my dad but I didn't have the time to buy ingredients. So I just came home from a supposedly meeting which turned out to be nothing. I walked home trying to get myself together from what seemed to be a flooding of past emotions. And I told myself, I'm bigger than this. I'm better than this. This couldn't be happening again.

I found myself singing "You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe. And I was reminded of how strongly God met me at the lowest moments of my life. I tried to control my tears. I didn't want other people to think I was devastated from spending Valentine's alone.

While I was near home, out of nowhere, a thought just came to me: This will be the last time you are walking alone on Valentine's day. Then, even with the pain still trying to work its way through my system, I felt peace. I felt security. I felt love.