He's been giving me the same nod for a few months now. Every time I'd invite him for lunch or dinner, or even when I'm just saying goodbye as I leave the house.
Yesterday, I opened my mouth for some words again- "I'm leaving." He was talking to someone over the phone and gave me like a 3-second look and nodded. Phew. Not that I expected something more than that. It took me 30 minutes or so just to get the courage to say goodbye. At least I got some form of acknowledgment ;)
This season's gonna be tougher than I expected. I still get a feeling of uncertainty once in a while, but I found a secret to overcome that! Fixing on a promise that's certain. A promise that never changes. A love that stands firm. And I believe soon, I'll be getting more than just a nod from my dad. Who knows, maybe a hug? =)
Showing posts with label Manila. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manila. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Manila: For Real?
Day 2 in Manila.
I almost cried out of exasperation yesterday. I didn't realize how frustrating it was to look for an apartment. All the ones I've checked looked either scary or unhygienic. Just imagining myself to be living in such kind of place makes me wanna throw up and feel sorry for myself. Add the remark of my friend, "this must be really hard for you..." with that sympathetic look. Ugh, I wanted to burst in tears right there and then!
But well, that was yesterday. And I made a promise I'll quit playing the victim role! So I woke up early and prepared myself for another day. I still had some anxiety attacks and the I-don't-want-to-do-this-anymore bratty attitude of mine, but give me a break. I am just beginning, okay?
So after all those delays before I could even step out of my friend's condo, I finally headed on for my day 2's adventure. I went for a job interview, which gave me an option to accept or decline the offer. Talk about favor. The decision just depends on whether I would take the job or not! Then, I went on to look for an apartment again. Favor #2? I found the perfect place!
Now it's mid-afternoon and I'm really tired. But I feel I've accomplished a lot already. I know I've got to endure a lot more long walks and jeepney rides for a while. (Now I realize how sheltered I was back in college. I never did any of these stuffs before!) But still in my heart I know I need to pass this test. I've allowed enough foolishness to consume me in the past. This I cannot afford to fail. I can't quit just yet. God must have something wonderful ahead of me and I'm in faith God's grace is sufficient for me to get there!
I almost cried out of exasperation yesterday. I didn't realize how frustrating it was to look for an apartment. All the ones I've checked looked either scary or unhygienic. Just imagining myself to be living in such kind of place makes me wanna throw up and feel sorry for myself. Add the remark of my friend, "this must be really hard for you..." with that sympathetic look. Ugh, I wanted to burst in tears right there and then!
But well, that was yesterday. And I made a promise I'll quit playing the victim role! So I woke up early and prepared myself for another day. I still had some anxiety attacks and the I-don't-want-to-do-this-anymore bratty attitude of mine, but give me a break. I am just beginning, okay?
So after all those delays before I could even step out of my friend's condo, I finally headed on for my day 2's adventure. I went for a job interview, which gave me an option to accept or decline the offer. Talk about favor. The decision just depends on whether I would take the job or not! Then, I went on to look for an apartment again. Favor #2? I found the perfect place!
Now it's mid-afternoon and I'm really tired. But I feel I've accomplished a lot already. I know I've got to endure a lot more long walks and jeepney rides for a while. (Now I realize how sheltered I was back in college. I never did any of these stuffs before!) But still in my heart I know I need to pass this test. I've allowed enough foolishness to consume me in the past. This I cannot afford to fail. I can't quit just yet. God must have something wonderful ahead of me and I'm in faith God's grace is sufficient for me to get there!
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