Thursday, February 25, 2010

Can I Just Stare?

When things seem overwhelming, what is your first reaction? Do you immediately plan some solution in mind? Or do you cry out to God in anguish? Or do you slump into a corner in hopelessness?

I do all these things. Only backwards. When things seem too much for me to handle, it’s really difficult for me to get a good grasp on where to start. I find myself lost in the situation with a vague idea of what to do.

Is it that bad to have tiny moments of weakness? To undergo a period of questions and uncertainties?

Most of the time, I stand in the middle of the chaos… and just stare. I stare blankly at everything moving in slow motion. And I feel the waves too intense almost consuming me. There are times I feel like giving in and just accept defeat.

At that point when I am at my weakest, as I allow the waves crashing into me, I feel a hand gently holding me, reassuring me that as I stare, He’s going to stand by me until the chaos turns into stillness in Him.

(It’s so amazing to feel God’s hand so real…)

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