Today, I cannot be more enthusiastic in expressing my opinion about drinking. Once in my principle-distorted life, I agreed with maybe 95% of the world population. That drinking is okay. Occasional or even hardcore drinking, I didn't really mind.
I, too, was a heavy drinker during that PDL (principle-distorted life) of mine. If I were to drink, my principle was I better get really drunk! What is the point of drinking if you're not gonna get yourself drunk? Told ya, the principle was distorted. But when I finally found a life I've never never even thought I wanted, I never had the slightest thought of going back.
Now I see people, even those close to my heart, when they drink and man, I begin to think- was I really like this before? It.was.detestable. I see no sense talking with a drunk person. It's a total waste of time. Totally pointless. It's like you're throwing your words in the air and you're just getting incoherent responses or maybe an annoying giggle. Or maybe a hiccup! And you're seeing the person waving his hand in the air shooing something isn't there trying to make a point that is even irrelevant! Oh, and they get into arguments. Absolutely senseless that fights of 4-year olds seem to have more sense!
It is annoying. But then I am the sane one. I get to control myself. After a few moments of trying to knock the person off in my head to stop him from blabbering all those nonsense talks, compassion sets in. He is not the one speaking. He isn't in control of himself. He is paralyzed by the alcohol and alcohol is the one taking over his body. His mind.
Now that's sad. Instead of hating the person, I feel compassion. Isn't it sad for a person to allow something take over his whole being and let it live in him that he just loses himself into total wastedness? (If there is such a term.)
I once allowed this thing take control of me. Like everybody else, I was blinded by the feeling it brought me- boldness to do something I normally can't do, adequacy in making a stand even in the most foolish point of discussion, portraying a tough image, or merely just the sense that I belong. Yeah, those were just some of the real reasons. Does any of it make sense?
Right now, it's too easy to see the picture clearly. I was purchased from that kind of perspective. And I'm grateful that what I decided to take over me is not something that would lead me to foolishness, but to a life that is full. A life that is secure. It's like you don't need to get the kind of high alcohol gives in order to feel alive. And brave. And capable. The alcohol doesn't give you that. It never can. You cannot hide behind the arrogance of alcohol to cover who you are. Coz at the end of the day, when you already are sober, you're still you- afraid, insecure, broken.
But the good news is, God has loved you despite your imperfections. Despite your flaws. But you won't experience that liberating love when you're drunk. Only in act of acceptance that you are not the god of your life can you allow his grace to cover you. Only in act of surrender will you experience that God is more than capable and willing to give you a life that you never thought possible. A life backed with a huge God you can be confident with. It's only a matter of choice.
The hollowness, the insecurities, the hiding can come to an end. And it's alcohol-free!